GOOD GRACE > GOOD ENOUGH
threenager : the little human living with you, who according to their birth certificate is three, but according to their attitude is a teenager.
Threenager. Yup. It’s a thing. What? No way. That perfect child up there? Yes. That’s the one. If you look closely at that perfect little face and beautiful smile you might just see it… ATTITUDE.
KIDDING (kinda). But seriously, I’ve had to put my mom face back on from the terrible two days and go into battle. A battle I feel like I’m often losing. Out of exhaustion and frustration during nap time one day I just fell into my husband and cried “she just won’t be good”!
It’s from that moment that I realized how wrong my perspective. I realized in my own effort to always be “good enough”, I was expecting the same from her. And it is out of this realization that I began to shift my heart in turn I saw hers begin to shift as well.
She doesn’t need someone that is always correcting and always being disappointed. She needs someone to demonstrate grace and model kindness. She needs to know despite everything, she is loved and always will be.
She needs to know there is never a “good enough”, but there is always good grace.
And don’t we need that too?
Is there a time for discipline and correction? Of course. We all need that tough accountability in our lives. But I found myself constantly showing my daughter frustration over love and disappointment over grace. Basically, I was acting opposite of our Father.
As I realized this and shifted my thoughts, the words I used shifted as well.
“It’s okay.”
“I love you so much.”
“I am so proud of you.”
“We're going to work through this.”
Instead of exhaling in exasperation, I held her until she was calm. Instead of jumping to discipline, I ran to prayer. Instead of making her feel less than, I made her feel loved.
Instead of reacting out of my flesh, I tried to respond as our Father would: full of grace and full of love.
“But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” - Romans 5:20-21
Sure, we’re still in the thick of these hard days, but they are a whole lot lighter and brighter now we have invited the One that is greater into the scene. I get it wrong all the time and I definitely did the last few weeks, but as I accepted grace for all my shortcomings as a mom this month, I was able to extend grace to my girl all the more. And more than I ever want my girls to “be good”, I want them to know God’s grace and it’s transforming power. Sure, being good would be GREAT, but knowing the One that IS good is far more important and far better.
I’m grateful for a God that continues to transform me. I’m also really grateful I can stop searching the world to tell me I’m good because I know it will never satisfy and it will never be enough.
On my own, I’ll never be good enough, but through His mercy, He says I already am.
Our God is a good, good Father and wants to love us. How do we know this? Because He paid for us and all our mess in full through the blood of His Son on the cross. Our choice today is to live in the freedom that grace gives or continue on the never ending circle of searching. I know what road I’m choosing and I pray you do too.
